Why do I feel this way??

Okay...this really sucks...but i don't know why i feel this way...
like i'm not important in someone's life....
maybe it's just me and my mood...(since tests are JUST around the corner)...
But i can't help it..
a few phone calls and i feel so sad...
that when i call...it's never important enough...if it's someone else....wow...it can go on for hours..
makes me real sad as i really care about these people....
they play such a huge role in my life and yet i feel this way...
and it brought back memories of me being left out of conversations and outings...
i really don't know....maybe it's just me...too sensitive....
but i hope i'm not right....cause i really don't want to be...
anyways...i hope all this mixed feelings can go away...

so i can ACTUALLY concentrate on my tests/exams which are coming up...

The Mind...A Terrible Thing to Waste

October 8 2005

I found this story on the net…its stupid….but it could happen

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, “Where are you going?” He replies, “To the kitchen.” She asks, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?” He replies, “Sure.”She then asks him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” He says, “No, I can remember that.” She then says, “Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you’ll forget that.” He says, “I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.” She replies, “Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down.” With irritation in his voice, he says, “I don’t need to write that down I can remember that.” He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, “You forgot my toast.”

What the hell was she thinking???

December 13 2006

who was she kidding?…well…must have been herself…she was in over
her head…she knew those things will never happen…especially to
her…n yet she has all things things goin on in her head thinking wat
could be…god…she had no clue…but deep down inside..she knew…she
probably just didn’t want to admit it…it was and is pretty obvious
tht there was n never will b anything between them…it was just hard
for her to accept it…she really wanted it to happen…n yet she’s
afraid of it…but can neverstop thinking of it…oh well..i hope she
gets over this…n noe…it could never happen between her n him…but
maybe someone else i suppose…oh well…i wish her all the best…

Fairytales

December 10 2006

i can bet every girl dreams of a fairytale ending….with everything..from boyfriends…family…n anything else in between…if only they come true…maybe they do for some people…but not everyone..well..what can i say…not everything in life is sweet…so many ups and downs…if life were a fairytale for everyone…i guess there just wouldn’t be life will there?…oh well..guess being in a depressing mood..nothing seems to ever make sense or any dreams goin to come true…that's just life i guess…nothing to do…just get on with it…

Out of the Picture

April 11 2009

This is really stupid of me to feel this way..but its so difficult sometimes to just join in….it really sucks when you are not involved…maybe its just me…I don’t know….sometimes I just push myself away from people without thinking…maybe its my personal issue..i have no idea…but sometimes its nice to be acknowledge….once in a while…

Apart from that….i really hate being ignored….its just a small stupid issue…but it gets to me sometimes….maybe it really Is me….its like I’m invisible….but what can I do right…not everything is in my power….

I just hope that I will stop feeling this way….it’s not a good feeling or thought to be carried around….that I definitely know…

How I wish I could have followed

March 27 2009

so I was supposed to go to Cameron Highlands for the club…I really wished I could have went….but I just couldn’t have gone since I couldn’t miss the classes for today as they were very important…oh well…it’s not like I won’t be goin for the program..

I’m so excited about the program..although getting too excited about something will bring the excitement down…it happens all the time..so all I have to do its just to be contented with it I guess…that is if I will be able to…hahaha

1 more thing I might be afraid of doing is handling the responsibilities that I will be doing….but hopefully it all goes well….

just hoping for the best

Torn in Two

March 24 2009

what do you do when there’s 2 people involved and both play an important role???…in my case….I have NO idea…

one is a good friend whom I care but there’s a problem everytime there’s somewhere to be or something that has to be done….I really care…but its so difficult cause I really enjoy being friends and definately enjoy the company…

the other one….someone that I just know fine….but not so much of a good friend…in between an acquaintance and a friend….there’s up’s and down’s in this person as well….sometimes things that are said makes sooo much sense…but sometimes the action taken is simply useless and makes no sense….

after hearing both sides….I honestly have no idea….who is right and who is wrong…even though there’s no decision to be made…and my decision or opinion won’t play much of an importance….but it still makes me think….weird…but if the time comes for me to make a decision…what am I supposed to do?….

I don’t think this makes any sense AT ALL…but what makes sense anymore right?….hahahaha….owh well…

p/s: i totally forgot who these two people were....wow...weird....but i think it's jogging my memory....

Stress at a whole new level

March 24 2009

Well…its been at least 3 years since high school finished….and SOOO much has changed…but i think people have changed the most…

so much has happened since then…I’ve learned so many new things…gained so many new experiences and never imagined I’ll be where I am right now…

never in my life have I thought of going to 2 of the best universities(in my opinion)..although I pretty much prefer where I am now but don’t get me wrong…i appreciate where I was cause without that place….I wouldn’t have the opportunity of meeting so many people and gaining new friends that I’m lucky to have met since these are a few of the people that have been there for me….

it’s strange that even though I was only there for a year….that was way too short….I’ve grown and managed to know where I stand and my study limits….

there were good memories as well as the bad ones…..but i think the good memories overpowers the bad ones…..im glad the good ones involved friends that are important to me…..cause without them…I don’t think I would have been able to go through that 1 year without them….how I miss those people sooo much….I just hope to meet them soon….

and now when I’m here and it had been almost a year….the situation is totally different…i managed to find a few good friends….even though it took some time to find that small group of people…but I managed to do so….and I’m thankful for that….

although, I think my life will only be complete if I have all my friends here with me….how I only wish it was possible….haih….but all the same…I’m glad to have known these people….the good and bad ones….doesn’t matter….it helps me grow….

right now….I’m think I’m simply happy and grateful for the amount of people I have meet….

So many people after so many years...

March 24 2009

Well…its been at least 3 years since high school finished….and SOOO much has changed…but i think people have changed the most…

so much has happened since then…I’ve learned so many new things…gained so many new experiences and never imagined I’ll be where I am right now…

never in my life have I thought of going to 2 of the best universities(in my opinion)..although I pretty much prefer where I am now but don’t get me wrong…i appreciate where I was cause without that place….I wouldn’t have the opportunity of meeting so many people and gaining new friends that I’m lucky to have met since these are a few of the people that have been there for me….

it’s strange that even though I was only there for a year….that was way too short….I’ve grown and managed to know where I stand and my study limits….

there were good memories as well as the bad ones…..but i think the good memories overpowers the bad ones…..im glad the good ones involved friends that are important to me…..cause without them…I don’t think I would have been able to go through that 1 year without them….how I miss those people sooo much….I just hope to meet them soon….

and now when I’m here and it had been almost a year….the situation is totally different…i managed to find a few good friends….even though it took some time to find that small group of people…but I managed to do so….and I’m thankful for that….

although, I think my life will only be complete if I have all my friends here with me….how I only wish it was possible….haih….but all the same…I’m glad to have known these people….the good and bad ones….doesn’t matter….it helps me grow….

right now….I’m think I’m simply happy and grateful for the amount of people I have meet….

cut the crap will ya??

this post was from a long time ago...but i think it means a lot to me and played an important role in my life...even if it was horrible...

December 13 2006

u noe wat?…i’m sick of everything u do rite now…ur on and off good mood?..tht seriously sucks…get over it larr…u got a problem…talk about it…dun shut up n talk 2 other ppl about it…tell it to my face….n owh yea…guess wat?…u ain’t d only one with limits ya noe?…first u turn ur bck on me…then u use me….n guess wat?…u turn ur bck on me…again!…wat is ur prob?…i’ve got other things in my life goin on…i noe u do to…n u noe wat?…i trusted u wif personal opinions…n u used them…against me?…u had no idea how much i suffered…no one knew…n rite now…getting seriously sick of it…haih…dunno larr…i hope u come to ur senses…n i think trust might b a huge prob rite?…anywayz…u can’t trust any1 anymore can u?…wateva la…u spoiled one of d best nites of my life…thank u sooo much…i thought all the crap wif u was gone…i guess i was wrong was i?…hope u have a wonderful life…

A valuable lesson learned

It was a gift that was unexpected. Who would've known? But I'm glad....because I've learned to do something that makes me have some sense and not hurt so much. It was something that makes me have some sense and not hurt so much. It was something indirect that I knew I had to put into myself. The gift...learn to bury your anger towards someone and bury them along with it...NOT LITERALLY of course!!!...It may not seem much, but it means so much to me. It has given me a new perspective. There's no point hating someone too much and say all the things you SHOULD have done or will do. When I bury someone, it's the same meaning in life. That's what they are to me....DEAD!
When they are dead to me, I won't have to think of all the things I might do or say to the person. It's better that it's somewhere deep and won't be resurfacing soon. It does not hurt anyone in the process...UNLESS ...they DESERVE IT!...

simply dissapointed...

honestly....i seriously realized something today...
what true friends really are...
some people can really deceive u as being your friend when in reality....they are NOT!
some advice to all you people out there with friends.....don't easily trust people to be your true friends until you have seen their TRUE COLORS....and boy does it take TIME....
a FRIEND is someone who actually CARES about YOU.....if they don't...then people...it's time you reevaluate who your TRUE friends really are....
and one more thing....i think i've tried as hard as i can to be a good friend....but i guess that some people are blinded by other things that they don't really notice what is right smacked in their face....

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

one thing about TRUE FRIENDS is that they are difficult to find...that's for sure..
anyways....i have no idea what i'm talking about...just wanted to let go what i really feel...and what i have been thinking for the past week....and it has been proven....


Ben Jonson:

True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and value.

A story about life

This is a story I found from www.inspirationalstories.com

Lessons Learned
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?” “It was great, Dad.” “Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked. “Oh yeah,” said the son. “So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father. The son answered: “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. “We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. “We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. “We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.” The boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.”

this is a great story which tells us that material things are not necessarily the most important things in life and whether it tells how rich we are....
how wealthy or rich we are is determined by what matters the most in life...

Learn from Mistakes...

This is a great article which i found online...from:
http://www.inspirationalstories.com

Learn from Mistakes
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown

Thomas Edison tried two thousand different materials in search of a filament or the light bulb. When none worked satisfactorily, his assistant complained, "All our work is in vain. We have learned nothing." Edison replied very confidently, "Oh, we have come a long way and we have learned a lot. We no that there are two thousand elements which we cannot use to make a good light bulb."

A waste of time and pointless...BUT...

i realized something while i was on FB....playing CW and FV...
whats the point of me playing all these applications??..
seriously?...i had no idea....at that point....i knew that all these were a waste of time and i won't get anything material out of it...like no matter how much money i earn in CW and FV....it won't be transferred into MY bank account which is REALITY....
how i wish that all the money i have in CW and FV combined can ACTUALLY be transferred into my bank account....i can already think of all the things i would like to buy....
but then..i guess that by playing all these applications, we have something to look forward to everyday....and in a different perspective...it makes us more competitive...even with our own siblings and friends...especially when it comes to who is at the higher level....
I guess it's quite difficult for someone to let go of all this applications....even for me.....
But whoever came up with the idea....I salute you guys for introducing and creating something out of nothing...and making thousands of people from all over the world...from different cultures...to enjoy one(or in this case...more than one) application that is commonly likable and addictive...

A new experience

Everyone goes through a situation where they have to adapt to something NEW in their life...
Not everything will be easy breezy and simple....
But no matter how hard and difficult something really is...
We still have to do it no matter what....
ESPECIALLY if it is out responsibility...
But in a nutshell...
Everyone must be brave to do what they have to do....and LEARN....
as it IS a process of LIFE....